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Writer's pictureWhole Happy Health

A Letter to my Son


I wrote this for my son, I thought I'd share it with you.


"Ethan


I want you you grow up to care about who you are, care about your health and care about your body. There are times in you life where you may wake up one day and look at yourself in the mirror and think “Fuck me, that is not me surely? Where did this bad skin come from? Where did those bags under my eyes come from? Oh my god, I have put on 10lbs and I never used to have a gut.” What happened to me?


Well, life happens sometimes but that reflection in the mirror just didn’t happen over night it happened over time. Slowly and progressively. With the world documenting everything on social media nowadays you can literally see toned buff guys and girls back in the day and flip through their photos and see the weight gain, the bad skin or sadness in their eyes, like a flip book. It can be looking back at the first picture that person is unhappy with the way they look and thinking that’s when it started. Now they could have been 4 months ago where someone has noticed a double chin in a photo and slowly a double chin became bigger bingo wings, or a beer belly or a bigger waist line.


Or it could have been 15 years ago! And slowly and slowly like a creeping monkey it hadn’t dawned that little by little piece by piece, lifestyle changed, appearance changed and that person changed into someone that they were never meant to be or never needed medication to control heart diseases or diabetes. And then that one photo that makes them realise they need to change gives them a kick up the bum or they need to impress someone from school at a wedding so they take action and want to lose weight and look healthy in 3 weeks diets and gym routines that “guarantee ” you amazing abs and bulging biceps. But unfortunately, 15 years of slowly creeping weight gain and health issues, like before didn’t happen over night, neither does the solution and the weight loss or health issues disappear over a space of a day, week, months or sometimes years.


It will happen over time.


But the great thing about looking after yourself and wanting to eat healthy and take care of yourself the progress happens a lot quicker and you will feel and look better in the space of a few weeks but that is not the end result. People normally get to the point where they lose the 10lbs and then revert back to their old habits. Or they change their eating habits, their blood pressure goes down after 8 weeks the doctor says “well done! It’s down’ give them the all clear and that person will then start again with their old eating habits because they have hit their goal. But the person losing weight will buy another diet programme or gym membership within 6 months. And the person with blood pressure issues will be back in the doctors and the doctor giving the same eating advice again at the next check up because the blood pressure has risen.


The hamster wheel of life.


So how do you stop torturing yourself with I need to change - change habits - get results - back to old ways - disappointment and frustration with yourself - spend money - change habits - get results - back to old ways - disappointment with self - decide to change - spend money - change habits…..


Man, I could write that forever! And that is what the diet and gym business is counting on! Your frustration with yourself not being able to stick to their 3 week plans so you come back for more! Because it worked the 1st two weeks! There must be an easier and happier and healthier way of doing this.


There must be an easier and healthier way of losing weight, getting stronger, feeling better, getting some of your doctors results down, decreasing medication and actually feeling better inside and out! It comes down to self care. There are so many people not looking after themselves that it hits them smack in the face in the mirror or in the doctors room.


Weight gain is preventable, 90% cardiovascular disease is preventable, type 2 diabetes is preventable. It comes down to self care and I’m going to add self worth.


Do you feel worthy of feeling, looking and being better? If you don’t feel that you deserve these things in life, it’s time to see a councillor!


If you feel that you need to be healthy and happy with yourself and for your family its time to care for yourself!


Once you start doing that,

The weight will drop off,

The health improves,

The bags under your eyes disappear,

The skin clears up,

The confidence in your body returns,

You look and feel better and ready to thrive in life.


Having a bad day can affect the way we look after ourselves You may begin to justify your habits…

“I have had a bad day… so I deserve to have a few drinks”


“Someone at the office annoyed me today so I feel stressed so I need to relax with an extra scoop of ice cream or extra chocolates”


These excuses of circumstance are easy to fall into and justify your actions. The problem is the first few times you may have had a horrendous day and you have treated yourself. But soon it becomes…


“It almost rained today so I’m gonna have that whole pizza.”


“The red car in front of me didn’t signal at a roundabout so that’s pissed me off so I deserve to wind down with a bottle of wine tonight.” (It happens you know it does)


The justifications become smaller and the way we deal with the stress of self care becomes larger. If you feel crap then you treat others like crap, it is time to feel better and treat others better too!


When the hard stuff comes along we must take yourself. We don’t have to rely on excess food or alcohol or drugs or energy drinks to keep our selves feeing good and keep our energy up if we look after ourselves.


How do we take care of ourselves?


Get some exercise daily

Time by yourself

Time with friends

Be outside

Read


What are your 3 best things that you do to take care of yourself?


There are elements in own life that mean you are taking care of yourself That could be a long bath, a grooming ritual, meditation, gardening when was the last time you did that for yourself?


Have a list of 3 essential ways that you enjoy looking after yourself and make sure you are doing them consistently


Chris, your dad"

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