Body Dysmorphia - an angry blog

Hi team

This a different and more of an honest blog then normal.

I went to the beach yesterday with the family and the best day ever. Playing with the kids in the sand, everybody relaxed and not worrying about work. Which I tend to do a lot even always thinking about it in the background of life. Maybe, it’s a supervision thing. When you manage people you always think about how to bring the team together and make sure that we achieve what we need to do.

Anyway, back to the beach, The best day.

But then I saw some pictures of myself and man it made me feel depressed.

So here is the battle I have and I think all men have that workout and are in pretty good shape.

The way I think I look was not being represented in the photos I saw.

I look a lot skinnier than I think I am, and with no definition or muscle at all.

Now, at nearing my 40s, and I looked around the beach and at the time I thought I looked better than 90% of men my age on that beach.

I would say I am in better shape than 90% of men where I work too.

Now, that sounds big headed but maybe it’s just a shocking standard that society has nowadays of physical health.

But looking at those photos made me realise that I’m not looking the way I want to look.

I don’t look like “That guy” I aspire to look like.

We all have those goals and that one person you emulate and aspire to be like, be that physical, career, personal life etc…

It was a bad few hours once I realised that and I was pissed off.

I then went to a friends party in the evening, and I got a lot of compliments about my appearance and my physical health and inevitably conversations lead to advice and fitness. It’s something I have got used to and a main reason I want to coach and lead. (I just need to get my ass in gear, being a father of 2 and working a full time job on a shift pattern!)

So what the hell?

I still don’t look how I want to look in photos

But I am still fitter and stronger than 90% of my peers

People compliment me and ask for advice in nutrition and how to lose fat and build muscle.

and I am still so pissed that I don’t look that “that guy” that I’m writing a blog about it!

I was going to put beach photo on this post but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

any advice?

- Chris